Thursday, November 1, 2012

Prowler Flu Season

I work in healthcare. At my company we promote and encourage our patients and employees to get the flu vaccine. At least there's a way to minimize your risk of getting the flu this year (get your vaccines you damn hippies!). This week at my box, the coaches decided to have us all do Prowler Suicides (aka Prowler Shuttle Runs aka Slow Death by Prowler). Most of us felt a burning sensation in our legs we have never before experienced. Some even came down with the dreaded Prowler Flu. Unlike the influenza virus, there is no way to prevent the Prowler Flu. Like the Cobra Kai it strikes first, strikes hard, and shows no mercy.

Billy Zabka was one BAMF'er
I think Prowler workouts are one of the dumbest things ever. You feel like garbage before, during, and after every Prowler session. There is no escaping its wrath. It also has the uncanny ability to make you lose complete control of your bodily functions. In fact, one of the fitter and stronger athletes at our box lost complete control of every sphincter, orifice, and gland in his body. After completing his Prowler Shuttle he rolled around on the ground for 5-10 minutes, staggered about 15 feet and puked on the wall, staggered to the bathroom and had the runs for 15-20 minutes, staggered to the parking lot and puked in the planter, then needed one of the coaches to drive him home. When he got home, his wife yelled at him for being an idiot and nearly giving himself rhabdo. I don't know what's worse, the Prowler Flu or getting yelled at by your wife for suffering from the Prowler Flu. As for me, I rolled around on the ground for 5 minutes, wobbled to the wall, and laid on the ground with my legs straight up in the air against the wall. I regained functional use of my legs after 15 minutes. Did I mention the Prowler can suck a fat one?

Tuesday's WOD


For time: 
25 GHD sit-ups (subbed 20# Frankenstein sit-ups)
1 Muscle-up (subbed 3 pull-ups & 3 ring-dips for 1 muscle-up)
20 GHD sit-ups (subbed 20# Frankenstein sit-ups)
2 Muscle-ups (subbed 3 pull-ups & 3 ring-dips for 1 muscle-up)
15 GHD sit-ups (subbed 20# Frankenstein sit-ups)
3 Muscle-ups (subbed 3 pull-ups & 3 ring-dips for 1 muscle-up)
10 GHD sit-ups (subbed 20# Frankenstein sit-ups)
4 Muscle-ups (subbed 3 pull-ups & 3 ring-dips for 1 muscle-up)
5 GHD sit-ups (subbed 20# Frankenstein sit-ups)
5 Muscle-ups(subbed 3 pull-ups & 3 ring-dips for 1 muscle-up)
Total time: 8:52

Finisher:

For Time: 
10 m Prowler Push Low then High 90 lbs 
20 m Prowler Push Low then High 90 lbs 
30 m Prowler Push Low then High 90 lbs 
40 m Prowler Push Low then High 90 lbs
Total time: 2:35


There is no better way to summarize a Prowler finisher than this

2 comments:

  1. Ugh...that seems like a legit finisher. I probably would've had an asthma attack at the end lol.

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  2. No kidding! I'm still feeling the after effects...my legs haven't forgiven me yet for the punishment they endured.

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